Morning Blues

( My wife is wondering if I made this up! Really! Just one strange winter morning...)

               I kicked the stuffy green canopy on my bed they call a comforter. I am already sweating up a stream while it is a frozen tundra outside. My  frosted window is wet and glistening in this late winter night. I was left wondering why I am wide-eyed at four o'clock in the morning when I suddenly remembered  that I have an ache down below and had to empty it into this ivory colored bowl in this cold room they called: the Water Closet( water to wash the face; water to bathe in; water to sink the long banana-like submarine; water to dilute the bladder water). Halfheartedly, I gathered myself, staggering side to side like a drunk duck, cursing myself when I toed the bureau, relieved the bladder and the half upright hose that leaned on the right like the tower of Pisa (wink, wink). Went right back to the warmth of the green fuzzy blanket and got comforted.  Snored back, rather loudly,  uncaring or not remembering,  if I shook the leaning hose of Pizza ( wink, wink) or just shoved it right back where it got comforted too. Oh, I couldn't care less. I was already busy snoring by the time I realized so.

                 I opened my eyes to a quite bright morning with my unruly, stiff and oily hair standing up on one side like a Mohawk except it is not bald at the sides ( uhh , just a tad so). I slept on the one side of the bed nearer the hissing radiator vent. My hair went up and wouldn't yield to the comb as if it got drowned with Viagra gel. Ugh, I have a strange headache, unusually early today, but now I remembered that I downed a highball last night half filled with a strange concoction I saw on the tube they called: absinthe ( I actually had a small one from my travel last spring, small bottle - from Prague).The heroine, if you must call her that, said her mouth dried up with the other mixtures so she preferred the drink and it actually made her quite, how would you say that - engaged or inflamed or both - and ended up cavorting with the hero. Hmmm. strange drink. Besides, it gave me this throbbing headache that seems to gnaw and annoyingly so. Startled back to life by the sound the dishes made when my wife dropped them while making breakfast this morning. One other thing, this strange drink left an unsavory aftertaste that I suspect left a dried up mark on the side of my mouth. Hmmm, really strange drink.

                    I managed to get a long hot shower. There is this unusually minty soap and shampoo that left a cool after effect mixed with the warm needling of the water. Rubbed and scrubbed to the gills. Felt fresh. I didn't skimp on the toothpaste either. Slathered it! I then went down and started wolfing the over easies with some brown craggy and rough bread they called multigrain ( they are supposed to burn longer and make you less hungry longer, ah). Dunked them, yes I did ,on the lukewarm coffee sweetened with Splenda. Ah, the luxuries of diabetes.  I pulled my unusually light but warm brown Moncler jacket ( reportedly made by plucking all the feathers of ten, or more, geese, probably more,and they call it -"down" for reasons up to now I can't grasp) with all the garbage in its pockets including the napkin I used the other day after breakfast mixed with some dried up gooey stuff ( I really wondered if that was some snot or something) and nickels and dimes and clips from the office and rubber bands that got tangled with the car keys.

Aw, what a morning.

02082011